A Fair eStory

Interrupting my journey in Time and Place, I felt a compulsion to write a story.

PlanetsOnce upon a Time, in a castle far away, there lived a Supreme Being called Reality. In His house, there were many mansions, and in the furthest one, out of harm’s way, He had his laboratory. He first Developed Fire, from which the word Devil developed, of course. One day, which had not been invented yet, and neither had Time, actually, but it was here He mixed a bit of this, a cup of that and a pinch of the other, and applied a bit of fire

Of course there was a Big Bang, and bits of the castle flew everywhere. This was a major breakthrough, as Reality had now discovered that there was an everywhere. In order not to lose the bits, He organised the Everywhere into cycles of different shapes and sizes so that the bits, of different shapes and sizes, all returned to him at different intervals, giving him Time to decide what to do with them.

Luckily He had quickly divided Time into weeks, just in Time, so He could name some of the bits after some of the days, like Saturn, Sun and Mon. One particularly revolting wet and sticky lump He called Urgh!

As Urgh came around again and again, so different from the other lumps, He decided to have a closer look. Having now invented cycles, He decided to populate Urgh with cycles, which he called Vores. Reality made them self-sustaining so that he didn’t have to pay them too much attention, busy as he was with the rest of the bits. Later, he was quite annoyed when some of the Vores began to ask him for favours, which he mostly ignored.

The Vore circles are quite easy to understand, actually. (To this day, Boerewors is still packed in a circle.) It is a whole lot of Compost, going round and round like the bits of the castle. Compostivores feed the Herbivores who feed the Carnivores who feed the Compostivores.

The problem arose, Reality realised, when some of the Carnivores got cleverer than their fellows. Not only did they break the cycle and eat the Compostivores as well as Herbivores, they got clever enough to be frightened and asking for help. And they asked for help from the very things that frightened them. Small doses were okay; useful, even, like the warmth of the Sun, rain to drink, a breeze to cool them. But searing heat, floods and storms caused them to ask these Elements to cut out the rough stuff. This ask was called Prayer. When they all got together and prayed to the Sun, or the Thunder or whatever, it was called Worship.

Expressions like:

“OMG, it’s a tornado headed this way!”

“OMG, it’s so hot my Compostivores are dying!”

gave rise to the word GOD.

Ra, and Thor, and so on.

For a long while that worked okay. It was ignorant, but an okay ignorant, which gave the Clevervores Time to develop on their journey to Reality, the Capo di tutti Capi.

Reality got His name from stuff like Royalty, which is from Rei, meaning King. Oh, worship the King, all glorious above, and so on. Some folk made money called Reals, with a King’s head on it, and of course some people worship Money to this very day.

Eventually, when Clevervores realised that when they prayed to the Sun to come out from behind the clouds, or for the Storm to piss off, and He didn’t, Ra and Thor were False Gods. Better to pray to a God that was so powerful you couldn’t even see him. GeeHoover.  However , things unfortunately still didn’t always go their way, no matter how hard they prayed. Luckily He moved in Mysterious Ways, which kept them happy for several centuries.

Of course, not everyone was happy about the invisible bit, so they got front-men they could see and touch called Prophets, and this is still working pretty well, even though most of the Prophets (Profits, for those worshipping Money.) have passed on hundreds of years ago.

Those that are uncomfortable with this set-up are investigating the matter, and searching for Reality. These ultra-Clevervores are called Scientists, brave fellows setting out into the unknown and, maybe, unknowable. Some of them think GeeHoover sucks, and are out to prove it.

But, OMG, it’s all very interesting!

About peterjearle

Writer of thriller novels. 4 Published: 'Purgatory Road', 'The Barros Pawns', and the Detective Dice Modise Series:'Hunter's Venom' and 'Medicinal Purposed Only', all from Southern Africa.
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2 Responses to A Fair eStory

  1. nic says:

    WTF where did this come from!!!!

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